Come Clean

M: Hey.
J: I don't know you.
M: What're you talking about? Are you drunk?
J: I was sitting in this fast food restaurant and holding hands with this fairy, right, before he sets the place up  fire you know..
M: A fairy?
J: Don't I like him, he's not the gey person, you know, like from ....I realised something so basic, I mean so  basic...I don't know you.
M: You don't know me?
J: No!
To sum up the four hours of discussion that followed, it's not easy being in a relationship, much less to truelly know the other one and accep them as they are was all that goes in baggage. Jack confessed me his fear of being rejected, if I truelly knew him, if he showed himself totally bare to me...Jack realised after two years of being with me that he didn't know me at all, nor did I know him, and to truelly love each other we needed to know the truth about each other even it is not so easy to take. So I told him the truth which was I've never cheated on him and I also told him that I just see Mathew that afternoon, did not get mad at me because nothing had happened, of course.
I confessed to Jack that the toughest thing from you is to decide to be with someone for good (Jack: I understand that, completely.). The idea that this is it, this is the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, to decide that I will make the effort to stay and work things out and not run off the minute there is a problem, is very difficult for me. I told him I could not be for just one man for the rest of my life, it was a lie but I said it anyway. He asked me if I thougt I was a squirrel, collecting men like nuts to put away for cold winters. I thought is was quite funny. Then he said something that hurt my feelings. The tone changed drastically, then I missunderstood what he was saying I thought it meant he didn't loved me any more and he wanted to break up with me. It always fascinates me how people go from loving you maddly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much... When I feel someone is going to leave me I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is, one more,one less, another waisted love story. I really love this one. Then, I think that it's over, that I'll never see him again like this. Well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as we've never been together. Then we slowly think of each other less and less untill we forget each other completely, almost. Always the same for me, break up-break down, drink up-fool around, meet one guy then another fuck around to forget one and only, then after a few month of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness, meet a new love and swear it is the one untill that one is gone as well.
There is a moment in life when you can't recover from another break up, and even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well, you still can't live without him..and even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well, you love his sneezes more than anyone elses kisses.

Link and song from the movie


  1. Neat post

    I was wonderin if you would like to follow each other =)

  2. Hey, I'm glad you like the post!
    Sure I'll follow u! : )