Come Clean

M: Hey.
J: I don't know you.
M: What're you talking about? Are you drunk?
J: I was sitting in this fast food restaurant and holding hands with this fairy, right, before he sets the place up  fire you know..
M: A fairy?
J: Don't I like him, he's not the gey person, you know, like from ....I realised something so basic, I mean so  basic...I don't know you.
M: You don't know me?
J: No!
To sum up the four hours of discussion that followed, it's not easy being in a relationship, much less to truelly know the other one and accep them as they are was all that goes in baggage. Jack confessed me his fear of being rejected, if I truelly knew him, if he showed himself totally bare to me...Jack realised after two years of being with me that he didn't know me at all, nor did I know him, and to truelly love each other we needed to know the truth about each other even it is not so easy to take. So I told him the truth which was I've never cheated on him and I also told him that I just see Mathew that afternoon, did not get mad at me because nothing had happened, of course.
I confessed to Jack that the toughest thing from you is to decide to be with someone for good (Jack: I understand that, completely.). The idea that this is it, this is the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, to decide that I will make the effort to stay and work things out and not run off the minute there is a problem, is very difficult for me. I told him I could not be for just one man for the rest of my life, it was a lie but I said it anyway. He asked me if I thougt I was a squirrel, collecting men like nuts to put away for cold winters. I thought is was quite funny. Then he said something that hurt my feelings. The tone changed drastically, then I missunderstood what he was saying I thought it meant he didn't loved me any more and he wanted to break up with me. It always fascinates me how people go from loving you maddly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much... When I feel someone is going to leave me I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is, one more,one less, another waisted love story. I really love this one. Then, I think that it's over, that I'll never see him again like this. Well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as we've never been together. Then we slowly think of each other less and less untill we forget each other completely, almost. Always the same for me, break up-break down, drink up-fool around, meet one guy then another fuck around to forget one and only, then after a few month of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness, meet a new love and swear it is the one untill that one is gone as well.
There is a moment in life when you can't recover from another break up, and even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well, you still can't live without him..and even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well, you love his sneezes more than anyone elses kisses.

Link and song from the movie


Black'n'white Perspective

There is something about two-colored-photography...seems it happened long time ago still is stylish and beautiful. Say it loud if it's not like that! ;)

An' some b&w music to remember good all times! :)

All That Jazz

What is wrong with the music nowadays? Is it me or we're becoming witnesses of a lot a pointless lyrics and stuped melodies??!!
Hmm,I believe that among all this Let's-Make-One-Season-Hit music, there are still a lot of quality singers, all you have to do is find 'em!! Oh, that can be a hell of the job but I think I've managed and I'm still trying, of course. :)

I'm not going to write about singers, I'm just going to revealed what I'm listening these day. To me, this kind of music is relaxing, lyrics with the point, you can listening to them when alone or in company...just perfect!

Europeans Films

Along with Italian, Spanish, Great Britain's, I really like French movies. I'm not good with remembering titles but I do remember the plot and caracters long after watching a movie.

The reason I like european movies more than any other is that they are mostly based on a true story. While watching you can feel the energy and it's possible to identify with the caracters. I'm not saying that there are no fantasy from time to time, but directors are more likely to use it to highlight something rather than impress the audience. 

Another very importante thing is photography. Some litlle details can be made huge thing-to-remember-film-after just like any breathtaking scenery.

This one is special to me because it about love, forgiving and moving on with your life no matter what.



Never Let Me Go

Have you ever loved , I mean truly loved anyone? Many of us think we did or, are loving that special someone, but what if we're wrong, what if we just don't want to be all by ourselves...?
Every time we ''fall in love'' we think: This is real. Everything that happened before this was a lie. Are we foolin' ourselves that we will not fall in love again just because we want to believe that is true?

I give a lot of thoughts to this theme but I still haven't come to any conclusion or a sheer idea how to solve this puzzle. To be more precise, how one can be sure that he loves? Does one should take care of other, or have to make compromise, have to forget what he wanted before geting in a relationship, keep proving its love every day??!!! Isn't the point to do all that and more both sides?? Isn't it all about doing things for each other without thinking, doing it by impulse??

Maybe its the air. Something in the air, after all.

Here's a link to a movie about true love:


4 Everyone Who Loves Photography

I remember images, not what was all about but little details always remains in my mind. I use to lost myself while walking, I wasn't aware of  distance or roads... whether I'm alone or not, when I see something that is pleasant for my eye, my soul, that's it - the moment I live for.

Just a few examples


Birch tree

Sunset in the Park

Standing at the edge of the Bridge

Lost and found